"i finally understand why you needed that distance from me. and now i finally agree. as much as this will hurt me we need this. i know you still need space, as i from you. i dread to say this, but please don't reply, although thats the only thing i want at times like these. im sorry for making you do the things you said you'd never. and im sorry i won't back off when you're only trying to make things right. i didn't think i'd become that girl. im so sorry."

--- im sorry you felt like you were breaking my heart - - when you were only filling this huge void the entire time. and i don't think you caught on

"messages from broken bottles fall on black sandy beaches"
was his reply. lyrics from a song he tried sending the night before. i don't even understand it. am i broken? is what i said broken? meaningless to him? what does it mean?
i won't ask.
i miss him already.

i know i won't be able to hold out for more than a few days before breaking down and needing to speak to him. but i must. he is trying to become the person he was before we fell and couldn't climb out. i will only bring him back down.

-----------------------
Messages from broken bottles fall on black sandy beaches
Ink in vain across the page now run from morning dew
Hands which chance upon it lead to eyes which strain to read
Hearts that pound from love long overdue
Lips which press together, stifle rhythmic heavy breathes
Oh how she smiles from vicarious love from the one he writes about
She must have been so glad for him to throw it out
Further steps lead to yet another broken bottle
Again the words contained have bled the page
Whose tears were these which ran the ink
From who they'd pour to make this streak?
Were they his by chance from telling her or hers by chance from reading it?
they could have been collective
they could have been from someone else
why don't we see whats at the bottom?
why don't we see what comes next
oh how she cries from vicarious pain from the one he writes about
oh she must have been so sad for him to throw her out
lets just say she is better off somehow
lets just say she has never been happier than she is now
we couldn't fake it so why even try?
-----------------
i guess the thing we can't fake are all the feelings we get when we look at eachother. how i want to kiss you, how you want to kiss me. how we want to feel eachother. we cant fake these feelings we have and pretend everythings okay. we tried, and look where it got us. i just can't fake the way i feel for you, so this space is needed- you can become the person you want to be, and me.... i'll learn to live without you.

i won't be better off, i won't be happier.